Dating after divorce in your 30s can be challenging as it requires a lot of courage. No matter what is your age or in which of life, dating can be difficult.
Dating can be even more difficult after divorce whether you dumped someone or were dumped by anyone. If you were dumped, then it will be hard for you to trust anyone new especially if the reason for divorce was cheating. And if you dumped sometime then there will be fear of facing disappointment again.
There will be many complications but it’s not impossible to date after divorce. Here are some tips that will guide you.
1
Start Once You Are Completely Ready
According to relationship experts and psychologists, it takes at least one year to recover after divorce. It can be also valuable for your mind to get ready for it. One year is just a number. Time of recovery depends upon the strength of the person. If you think that 3 to 4 months are enough for you then start a relationship again. Give some time to you and your mind to be stable. Don’t start a relationship immediately as listening to yourself is very important in this matter.
Don’t think about family and friends who push you to be in a relationship again. Go for the option of dating again only when you want it. Getting married because all of your friends are settled and you are becoming older day by day is totally wrong. If you rush in finding the partner then there are chances of making the wrong decision.
The therapist Susan Pease Gadoua said that “you know when you’re completely ready” If your answer is “I’m not sure if I’m ready” then it means you’re not. Give some more time till the date you can confidently say that you’re ready for the new relationship.
If you talked about your divorce with clam then it means you move on with whatever happened. If you feel hesitation while discussing your divorce it means that you’re not completely over your divorce.
2
Get Social
Engaging in social activities is the best option to overcome the nervousness of dating. Go to parties, explore the hidden hobbies of yours, for example, yoga, and drawing, dancing, and cooking, and then find the one with the same interest. At the age of 30 or more, your flirting skills must have been lost. A topic to talk about will help you find a partner for dating.
3
Stay Positive
Divorce can bring negativity to the mind of the person. The terms like “All men are same” will move across your mind all the time. You can’t find a new partner while your mind is full of negativity. You must need to replace your negative thinking with positive thoughts.
You may also have negative thoughts about yourself. You will start blaming yourself for every loss and complain about your looks. You will start believing that something is wrong with me. These types of negative thoughts can also be the wall in front of
finding a new relationship.
Try thinking optimistically to bring positivity to your life and your mind. Positive thinking can help you decide what’s actually right for you.
4
Being Divorced Is Fine
In this society, many people consider as shameful. Even the 30s people who get divorced are embarrassed about being divorce. They try not to talk about their divorce in front of family and friends. Most people find their divorce story with their new partner.
It’s okay to clear up all the things before starting a new journey. It will be a little awkward when he or she will learn about your divorce from someone else. Everyone has a past. There is no point in hiding the truth. If your new partner is actually sincere with you, he will accept you with all of your flaws.
Of course, don’t share all this on the first date. When you think that things are getting serious, you must tell your new partner about what happened before. Explain what went wrong and what the reason behind the divorce was. Talking in detail is your decision.
5
Come Back To Your Previous Life
After divorce, you need to reconnect with yourself with your previous life. Do whatever you think is interesting, eat, socialize, go shopping, gym, start your education again. It will also help you find a new better job. Be focused on yourself. If you start dating again, don’t forget what you are. 30s aged people lose focus on themselves when they find a partner. Keep yourself and your dating life balanced.
6
Know What You Are Looking For
You should know why you want to date again. Divorce makes a person mature. They know who is right for them. You should know what type of person is good for you after divorce. Talking frankly, take a pen and paper and write down the qualities you are willing to have in your future partner and then find accordingly. But don’t expect too much. No one is perfect. In this way, you will not be able to find an ideal partner in your whole life.
Realizing what you want is great but experiencing more can help you discover new things. You should always ready yourself to discover new things. It’s very important for surviving your life successfully.
7
Try The Benefits Of Technology
Technology can help a lot in coping with divorce and while looking for a new partner. If you can divorce online to your partner than you can meet the one by online dating. It’s very popular nowadays. Many people discover their partners by this method. It can also help you when you just want to time pass. The first response of yours on social media will also boost your confidence. Sticking with the online relationship only can also be risky. You must meet physically while being in a relationship to make your bond stronger.
